How to build your self-confidence: The TLN Way

Self-confidence is easy to spot in others but harder to develop in ourselves. Everyone wants to be self-confident and with mountains of self-help books, blogs, and Instagram posts it can seem almost too easy to build it. The reality…it is difficult to get to the point when you are so self-confident that you rarely doubt your gut-feelings, your appearance, and your intelligence. It certainly doesn’t happen overnight. 

What is a confident person?

Not everyone is born with an inbuilt sense of self-confidence. Sometimes it can be hard to develop confidence, either because of personal experiences have caused your confidence to decrease or because you suffer from low self-esteem. 

A Confident Person:

  • Does what they believe is right, even if it’s an unpopular action or opinion
  • Is willing to take risks
  • Admits their mistakes and learns from them
  • Is able to accept a compliment
  • Is positive and optimistic

Why self-confidence matters

Self-confidence is vital in almost every aspect of our lives, yet many people struggle to find it. Sadly, this can become a vicious cycle: people who lack self-confidence are less likely to achieve the success that could give them more confidence. Confident people inspire confidence in others: their audience, their co-workers, their bosses, their customers, and their friends. And gaining the confidence of others is one of the key ways to succeed.

Building your self-confidence

There are a number of things you can do to build your confidence. Some of  theme are just small changes to your frame of mind; others you’ll have to work on for a bit longer to make them familiar habits.

Look at what you have achieved

It’s easy to lose confidence if you believe you haven’t achieved anything. Make a list of all of the things you have to be proud of in your life. Whether it’s getting a good score academically, learning a new skill, or helping someone else. Keep the list close by and add to it whenever you do something you are proud of. When you’re low in confidence,  pull out the list and remind yourself of all the things you’ve achieved so far…there is so many more things to come. 

Set some goals

Set some goals and set out the steps you need to take to achieve them. They don’t have to be big goals; they can even be things like baking a cake or planning a night out with friends. Just aim for some small achievements that you can tick off a list to help you gain confidence in your ability to get stuff done.

Think of things you are good at

Everyone has strengths and talents. What are yours? Recognising what you’re good at, and trying to build on those things, will help you to build confidence in your own abilities.

Get a hobby

Try to find something that you’re really passionate about. It could be photography, sport, knitting or anything else! When you’ve worked out your passion, commit yourself to giving it a go. Chances are, if you’re interested or passionate about a certain activity, you’re more likely to be motivated and you’ll build skills more quickly.